Finding the words to ask for help: Selma’s story
Selma (fictitious name) arrived in Italy 8 years ago with her 4 children from Egypt through family reunification with Ahmed, her husband who works as a painter. Selma has left home very little in these years in Italy, not weaving relationships outside the Islamic community at the mosque she attends with her family. Ahmed has always been involved in everything from paperwork to dealing with the children’s school to supporting the family.
Ahmed has always had a possessive attitude toward Selma by not allowing her to go out on her own and not helping her to fit into the Milanese community. Moreover, within the couple he has always maintained a position of superiority by never treating Selma as an equal but always as an “inferior” person.
In November 2024, the situation in the house worsened and Ahmed began to treat Selma worse and worse by insulting and denigrating her
continuously. In February 2025 Ahmed decided to leave Selma and his children to return to Egypt where he now lives with another woman.
Selma fell into a severe depression after this event and the family had months of disarray and problems. Selma’s 16-year-old son asked for help from the Imam of the mosque who, knowing ASCS’s project, contacted the association asking for help psychological for the lady. Selma was taken in by the Arabic-speaking psychologist who was dealing with a very difficult situation as due to the abandonment of her father the whole household needed multiple help.
Selma initially refused to embark on the psychological journey mainly due to the fact that in her home culture a person who seeks psychological support is considered “crazy” and is automatically excluded from the community.
However, the association did not abandon Selma and with the help of the psychologist began to follow her, helping her in practical and concrete things thanks to the network created in recent years around the project. One association in the network instructed the practice of renewing a residence permit that had expired and had not been renewed by Selma (not knowing how paperwork worked in Italy). With the support of another association, Selma was given a food card to receive food for her family. Selma in April started Italian school (she speaks only Moroccan Arabic) but due to her depression she could not follow and by June the situation had not improved much.
In the summer, summer centers were sought for the children aged 12,14,16 and 17, and in the meantime, Selma continued to be looked after. About six months after the first contact at September Selma decided to embark on a path of psychological support as she says “for me but also for my children.” To date Selma is opening up and working through her difficulties and traumas in her life story. She has also been asked to participate in the newly started Arabic-language Self-Help group but is still not feeling up to it.
In October he also started Italian school again and to date is participating, albeit with the difficulty due to mainly to a lack of basic schooling. Thanks to the project, it has been possible to help this woman and her household, and it is hoped that with time she will feel better and better and cope more and more strongly with the changes that the past year has brought.
