Wasi’s psychological support
Telling us this story is Miryam, a psychologist at the Wasi project in Milan since 2026, who has been following Hadel in Arabic. The woman’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.
Hadel, a 40-year-old lady of Algerian origin, comes to our psychological support service on the recommendation of the anti-violence center in which she was placed with her children after reporting her husband for violence and abuse. Given her inability to travel to care for her younger children, we begin an online journey with Hadel, but technology does not seem to be an obstacle. In fact, she shows herself from the start to be motivated and in need of emotional support and containment.
Hadel recounts that she has been the victim of physical and psychological violence for 20 years, that is, since the beginning of her marriage.
The latter was not an arranged marriage but a marriage resulting from a free and spontaneous relationship. The two met by chance. Hadel was very young; she had just started working in a company after dropping out of high school to chase her dream namely to become a seamstress. At the time, her husband was living in Italy, so the two maintained a long-distance relationship. They met physically for the first time in Algeria after a year of relationship but the impact for Hadel was not at all positive so much so that he decided he wanted to take a step back. However, he managed to persuade her by showing a kind and generous side to his character by convincing her that he was a good man worthy of marriage. So the two young people got married, and three years later Hadel becomes pregnant with her first child. Hadel stays to live in his family’s house in Algeria, moving from the city to the countryside.
From the beginning, a strong rigidity in married life emerges, with impositions and control from her husband, who had meanwhile returned to live in Italy. Hadel could not leave the house alone at all, she could not talk to other men, she could not participate in various ceremonies. Hadel believes it is normal jealousy given her husband’s distance and obeys. A few years later, Hadel arrives in Italy with her first daughter and expecting her second.
Married life in Italy is no different from that experienced in Algeria and is becoming increasingly pressing and painful. Even in Italy, her husband imposes numerous prohibitions on her, including not working or attending classes, going out alone or crossing certain streets where other compatriots were passing.
Hadel does not counterattack because he knows that with every response he makes he will receive blows and punches.
Meanwhile, the last two children are born and Hadel discovers her husband’s betrayal. From then on, problems multiply as well as physical and verbal violence. Her husband tells her several times that he wants to divorce her because he loves the other woman, but he does not want to leave home: it must be Hadel who leaves together with her children. Unfortunately, Hadel has nowhere to go, is completely alone in a new country, and barely knows the Italian language. Her husband begins to use some drugs, staying awake for entire nights complete with visual hallucinations. He begins to accuse Hadel of betraying him and threatens her with death.
Hadel begins to have serious health problems that require delicate operations. Not even on these occasions does the husband seem shaken by his wife’s physical frailty but continues with his psychological pressure and mistreatment, which culminates on one Ramadan evening. On that occasion, Hadel simply tried to defend her daughters from their father’s heavy verbal insults as they prepared the typical dinner to break the fast. This was enough for her to start being beaten with an endless series of objects her husband found around the house and being kicked out along with her daughters. Hadel took to the streets in tears and with the help and support of her neighbors had the courage to call the carabinieri who arrested her husband.
That night Hadel had the courage to break out of a cage in which she had been confined for years. She needed time to realize that what she experienced was not love, but a deprivation of human freedom. Psychological support is helping Hadel cope with this painful change. Hadel is very afraid for herself and for her children’s future but is trying to find herself again to redeem that young girl who had just opened her eyes to life and had many dreams in her drawer.
